Count Your Blessings, Day 13

Ultimate Frisbee

I am so thankful for this game. For the last few months, the youth of 4one have been playing it prior to our Sunday afternoon service, and then again after the service is over. So, for something like an hour to an hour and a half, every Sunday, I have been out on the field, chucking that plastic disc, sprinting around to make the plays, and slowly dying as I realize how old I am.

Every Monday, my body reminds me that I am 43. My knees hurt, my shoulder tends to be sore or in pain. (Oddly, not my throwing shoulder, my other one, but that's an injury story for another time). My feet sometimes hurt too, but that really depends on whether I was wearing my boots or barefoot while playing. (I have started wearing my sneakers, so.. shush.)

It usually takes me about 4 days to recover, so that I am no longer limping at least. So that by Friday I am mostly feeling normal again. Just in enough time to hit the weekend and prep for whatever honeydew I have on my list. So Saturday is filled with this or that, and tends to be my day of rest (without pain).

All in enough time to get ready to do it again on Sunday.

Cause, you know....

It's Ultimate Frisbee.

And I just gotsta play!

Count Your Blessings, Day 12

Bell and Bear

Isabel and Elsie. Bell and Bear. My nieces.

God help them.

Actually, they are pretty cool. (I think they get that from me, yeah, that's it.) But the reason I am thankful for them is that through out the last few years, well, I have had the privileged of watching them grow up. From Elsie's "I don't like you, you smelly." phase, to Isabel's telling awesome stories about what's going on in her day at school.

I don't get to see them every day, but there are afternoons where they show up after school to work. Sure, somedays they become the background noise (who am I kidding, like they could be background noise) to what I am doing. But then there are those days when they come over, give me a hug, and just start talking to me, telling me about whatever topic has fancied their interest today.

As I get older, it's easy to forget the simpleness of being a kid. Granted, to them, it's not so simple, but from the perspective that I have as an adult, I do long for the days, sometimes, of the only care in the world being whether or not I colored in the lines, or where the biggest drama I had was whether so-and-so liked me as a friend, or whether lunch was going to be something I actually liked eating.

So, for a few brief moments, every few days, I get that privilege, as I get to view the world through their eyes. Filled with wonder, excitement, expectation, hope, and awe. Oh, and the laughter. Let's not forget about the laughter. Again, something as an adult, I think I forget to experience enough of.

I am blessed to get to watch these two girls grow up, even if it's only in short snapshots. Although, I think snapshots works for me right now. I'm not so sure I could handle them all the time.

After all, they are Henrichs'.

Count Your Blessings, Day 11

Maddie

Dad and Maddie at Dinner

I'm really thankful for this woman in the photo above. Her name is Maddie, and honestly I think she is one of the best things to happen to my dad. Not only that, but she has been a real blessing to my family as well.

She's a mom of three girls, a grandmother of three, and from what I can tell, she has done a wonderful job of raising them. I'm told she is in constant contact with them, a fact my dad relays to me with a tinge of jealousy because, as he has said, it is something he would like to have with his sons. So right there, positive influence toward family. (A huge plus in my book)

Not only that, but the last few years her and my dad have been together, she has become such a welcome addition to our family. She has invited us into her life. Sure, she is with my dad, so that would be natural, but, she has done it in a way that is inviting, encouraging, and makes me feel like my family belongs as a part of hers. That takes effort, and she has shown that effort in a heart-felt way.

She has attended several of my children's milestone moments. Graduations, band concerts, my son's wedding. It's not her attendance that stands out, but that she truly wants to be there for those moments. When my wife and I started taking care of my father-in-law as he battled cancer, Maddie reached out to Heather, willing to help her walk through bureaucratic red-tap, to be a listening ear, or just to encourage her.

Back in February, my wife and I went on a cruise. In a word, it was glorious. Eight days away from everything. The first vacation Heather and I have actually ever taken in our 23 years of marriage. As I have said in a previous post, it was a great chance to have some time with my dad, to talk, to play ping-pong (I totally won btw), and to just get to know him for the man that he is today.

All thanks to Maddie. (I'm sure my dad had something to do with it, but, come on, let's be honest here, we know all that planning and what not, yeah, that was all Maddie).

Maddie, thanks for not only caring about my dad, but for caring about us too. Things like that are what set you apart from most people.

Struggles in writing #CYB

Somebody asked me the other day why my blog's have started to taper off, asking me, you mean you ran out of things to be thankful for? She said this in jest, but the point kind of stuck with me. Several days later, I am still mulling over that thought.

It's not that I don't have more to be thankful for. I actually have a life filled with things to be thankful for. But that right there, that's the problem. I have THINGS to be thankful for. Now don't get me wrong, I could go on and on about the things, several of my previous posts were about just those things.

But, that is where my struggle starts. I don't want to be thankful for things. I want to be thankful for the people in my life. I want to be thankful for the happenings of my day. I want to be thankful for the important stuff. Family, friends, my kids, my cats, the way a sunset looks after a rain.

No, the struggle isn't in finding those things. Ok, honestly, sometimes it is. The struggle is more in my own head about who am I thankful for today and then the thought happens. What if I offend so and so by writing about this person first. And then I'm stuck.

It's no secret, I don't like rejection. It's been a lifelong struggle that I have dealt with, and on more then one occasion it has caused me to shut down and not even attempt something. But I'm trying to stare it in the face, and am making up my mind that I am going to just write. So call this my framing of future posts, that I am not in any way attempting to prioritize the importance of the order of my blessings, but merely writing.

Ok, well, that's true except for the first post. She's totes my number 1. Totes.

Count Your Blessings, Day 10

Krista Joy

It's been just under 3 years. 

May 29th, 2011.

Granted, I knew her before this, but that is the day that, in my head, marks the real first day that Krista came into our lives. That was the Sunday of the "Awkward Introduction". (If you don't know about that, feel free to ask either of them.) And on that day, unbeknownst to Heather and I, we got the answer to a prayer we started praying years ago.

You see, a long time ago, my wife and I started praying for our children's spouses. What we prayed for specifically isn't really the point, but ultimately it boiled down to someone that would compliment them in the life that God was calling them too.

Krista has been that woman for Ben. Someone to push him when he needs to be pushed, someone to stand with him when he needs support, someone to fight with him when he needs to be corrected, and someone to love him when he doesn't feel like he can be. I'm proud to call her my daughter-in-law, and the best compliment I know how to give to her is that she reminds me of my wife.

Ultimately, she loves my son, and that right there is more then an answer to prayer, it's more then something to be thankful for, it's kind of a miracle.

Count Your Blessings, Day 9

Siblings

I have two brothers. One older, Robby, and one younger, Ryan.

Yep, I'm the middle kid, explains a lot, right? Well, at least helps explain a few things, if nothing else.

Anywho...

I'm thankful for my brothers, although I haven't always been that way. In our younger years, there was a lot of rivalry, a lot of fighting, and just a general amount of chicanery that would cause our parents no small amount of problems. 

In short, we were boys.

And the trouble we would get into. I have found memories of not getting caught for a large part of what we did wrong. Things that I would recall here, however, I'm not so sure the statute of limitations has expired on some of them. Needless to say, we were mischievous and ornery.

Rob and Ryan always had a good relationship, at least as far as I could tell. However, I was the odd man out. Ryan would cry out that I was hitting him when I was sitting across the room, because he knew Rob would come in and break it up by beating me up. Rob would torture the two of us, just because, you know.. older brother. It caused it's own sort of rending in my relationship with them.

It wasn't until I was 35 that I really had the chance to get to know each of them. Unfortunately, it took him getting cancer for me to place that relationship as a priority, and honestly, if it weren't for my aunt making me go take him munchkins every morning while he was at the hospital, I'm not so sure I would have actually taken the time on my own. He was only 31, he had a lifetime in front of him, I could just get to that later.

But God had a different plan. 6 months later my brother succumbed to the cancer that had ravaged his body. I watched him slowly deteriorate, getting worse as it metastasized into his brain, taking away his ability to walk, causing his eye to close. I watched as my older brother stepped in and took care of him with the physical things he could no longer do. That bond they had from their younger years re-emerging, but this time, I was apart of what was going on.

Since then, Rob and I have had a much better relationship. Something about losing a brother makes you realize how short life is, and what the really important things are. Sure, on the surface, it seems to be all about video or board games, but, as anyone with brothers knows, there is always more to those conversations then what is on the surface.

So, today, I'm thankful for my brothers. 

Tomorrow is a different subject. :D

Count Your Blessings, Day 8

Photos

Collage of Todd

As some of you may have experienced today, I kind of had a moment where I tagged a bunch of my photos and probably overloaded your notifications on Google+, sorry about that.

But over the last couple of days, I have been going through my photos looking for things that I have been inspired by, thankful for, or just to reflect what I wanted to write about. In the process of doing that, I have had the opportunity to look back through several years worth of photos. Some of them I really didn't like seeing again, like the ones of my mom when she was sick or my younger brother when he was in hospice. There were a few that were awkward, seeing people you haven't seen in a long time and you kind maybe possibly let that relationship slip further away, on accident.

But overall, it's was a really neat thing to go through them. I got to re-live my children when they were younger. 

I have to admit, I miss my daughter being younger. 

My son on the other hand, I am so thankful that he no longer has that hair.

 Oh, so very thankful.

The fun of photos is that I get to see how I have changed and how the world around me has changed also. Except my wife, she just seems to stay the same. I got to see the kids from the last 10 years of our youth program and look at some of the fun things we have done with them. Kids we were close too, some who just showed up from time to time, but our's none the less. A lot of those kids have graduated and gone on to college, the military, or just life. Some have gotten married. Some are getting married. Some have had kids of their own. Some even stay in touch with me just to remind me how old I am getting.

But, it's always fun to visit the past, to enjoy and savor moments that you may have forgotten. To see some of those mistakes and hopefully realize you are better for them, or at least learned from them. To see some of the good times and remember those moments and how they touched your life.

Photos have a way of transporting us to those times, and allow us to remember things, some good, some bad, but all a part of us, captured in a moment in time, to be viewed every once in a while.

Ultimately, I have a sort of time machine. No, I can't go into the future, but I can visit the past, and even though I can't change any of the past, I honestly don't think I would want to. 

I am who I am today because of all of those snapshots.

The good, the bad, and even the blurry.

Count Your Blessings, Day 7

My Bobbleheads

Yeah, I know... 

Weird.

But hey, sometimes, it's the little things in life that you overlook. And well, these guys, they sure are little.

Right now I have about a dozen or so bobbleheads that I have bought or been given. Most of them are stored away in my closet since I moved into my new office at the house and haven't quite found the best place for them.

They are goofy.. well, actually, I don't have a Goofy one yet, I do have Bilbo, Boba, Yoda, Chewie, Chuck,(he totes talks, btw), a Storm Trooper, a Jawa, and a Tuskan raider, along with two ity bity ones (R2-D2 and C3PO). My newest ones are Iron Man and Sheldon.

Ok, after typing all that out, I might have a small problem.. 

But when the world gets weird, and I get all stressed out, there is not much that is sillier then bopping one of these on the head and watching them jiggle.

Yeah, maybe I need help.

But until then... 

Bobble On!

Count Your Blessings, Day 6

My Mom

It's been just over 6 years since my mom passed away. I will say, there are very few days that pass by that I don't still think about her. For those who don't know her, all I can say is, you missed an awesome woman. Although time has a way of romanticizing our pasts, I can honestly say, I still hold her in my memories the way I remember her. She was a loving woman, but, she loved you in her way. 

You see, the things I remember about my mom are not those memories of getting hurt and her kissing my boo-boo, or having a struggle with something and her helping me out of it. She was the kind of woman that didn't have a lot of mercy to share, but she had heart. Oh, did she have heart. Nothing would stop her or keep her down. I like to tell my kids how she would listen to me complain about something wrong in my marriage, then she would look at me and say "Shut up, you have a good wife, now go home."

I'm thankful for her tenacity. 

I watched her struggle a lot of her life, with one thing or another, but she just kept on trudging along. 

Her second husband died suddenly of a heart attack, and she just kept trudging along. 

She was diagnosed with cancer, and she just didn't have time for that, so she kept on trudging along.

Her youngest son was diagnosed with cancer and she just trudged along.

He passed away 6 months later.. and.. she broke. I think it was the first time I ever really saw my mom cry, and I had no idea what to do. So I did what I could, and just loved her how I knew best. I still wonder if it was enough.

A little over a year later, on January 7th, 2008, just after midnight, my mom passed away. I lost a friend that night, someone that I looked up too, someone I cared for more then I think I could ever admit. It still hurts to think about her, it still hurts when I just really want to talk to her. It hurts to think she never got the chance to watch my children graduate, she wasn't there to see Ben get married, she won't be there the day Taylor does. 

But I'm thankful for the time I had with her, the relationship we had, and that the emotions I have for her are still so strong that I have had to stop several times because I couldn't see due to the tears.

Most of all, I'm thankful she is my mom.

Miss you, mom.

Count Your Blessings, Day 5

My Dad

The last dozen or so years have been a strain on Heather and I as far as family and friends go. We seem to have reached an age where we are saying more good-byes then hello's. A large part of what I'm dealing with, and why I am writing this blog, has to do with that. But, one hello that I have really enjoyed has been having the opportunity to get to know my dad.

Dad on the top of Mt. Britton tower in El Yunque Park, Puerto Rico

For a lot of years, we didn't really have a relationship to speak of, and I could say this or that, or blame this or that, but the reality is, I made a choice to not have one, to not press through my own hurt, real or imagined, to get to know him. Heather, in her quiet like way, pressed and prodded me to take every chance and opportunity to bridge the distance between him and I, and I, kicking and screaming at times even though I knew she was right, appreciate that she never backed down from this.

In the last 8 or so years, my dad and I have covered a lot of ground, rebuilding our relationship as father and son and I have learned a lot about the man that for years was a giant mystery. He likes to fish, he plays the guitar, he is an accomplished news guy with several Emmy's under his belt, he has a warped sense of humor, he had a pretty messed up childhood, he tried to do the best he could as he saw things, and yet he has his faults, mistakes, the things he would have done differently, choices he would have made another way...

In short, he was just like me.

It's been really cool having him as an active part of my life, and I am grateful that we both took the chance to walk down this road together. I can't imagine how difficult it has been for him, but for that, I'm thankful. Life is too short to not to take the risk of getting to know someone as well as you can, especially when they are your family.

I'd just like to finish by saying that with all of the goodbyes I have said in the last few years, this has been a hello that I am truly blessed by.