Trenchant and desperate thoughts stirred his soul as his brush moved across the canvas in harsh strokes, splattering blues and greens, blending yellows with reds, leaving indistinguishable traces of the masterpiece that lay underneath. He called it “Inner Self”.
photo credit
Trenchant and desperate thoughts stirred his soul as his brush moved across the canvas in harsh strokes, splattering blues and greens, blending yellows with reds, leaving indistinguishable traces of the masterpiece that lay underneath. He called it “Inner Self”.
photo credit
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Pleased, Melvin put the brush down and smiled his toothy-crooked smile. Sure, it wasn’t a Dorian Gray masterpiece, but then Melvin wasn’t really like his half-brother.
Pleased, Melvin put the brush down and smiled his toothy-crooked smile. Sure, it wasn’t a Dorian Gray masterpiece, but then Melvin wasn’t really like his half-brother.
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“Whats stuck up your butt?”
“Thermometer.”
“What?”
“You asked. I answered. Why the shock?”
“Wait just a second. You mean to say… you have a thermometer… stuck… up…”
“Yep.”
“That’s got to hurt.”
“Only when I laugh. Or fart.”
“Whats stuck up your butt?”
“Thermometer.”
“What?”
“You asked. I answered. Why the shock?”
“Wait just a second. You mean to say… you have a thermometer… stuck… up…”
“Yep.”
“That’s got to hurt.”
“Only when I laugh. Or fart.”
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It would fall down soon
Everyone knew, no one cared.
Life still continued.
******
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It would fall down soon
Everyone knew, no one cared.
Life still continued.
******
She slammed the cutlery drawer, causing the silverware to clamber a riotous racket from the force. “Where is it?” Her voice was shrill as she opened a cabinet door and sent the dishes rattling as she closed it again.
“Honey, I have no idea what you are looking for.” Her husband, Bill, tried his best to calm her without getting too close. Years ago, he learned to never get between a neurotic woman and her mental breakdown.
“I know it’s here somewhere.” She flung open the cutlery utility drawer and started to scour through the pens and thing-a-ma-bobs that they stored in there. She stopped, holding six pens in her clutches, and slowly turned toward him. “I know you hid it.”
Bill put both his hands up, partly to show he wasn’t a threat, and partly to parry away any object that might come in his direction. “Honey,” he pleaded, “I don’t know what you’re looking for.” He repeated slowly.
“You’re hiding it from me, aren’t you.” Her tone got sinister as she took a tentative step toward him. He backed up two full steps out of the kitchen, his foot hitting the couch and causing it to move.
“Honey. Now, you just need to calm down.”
“Don’t tell me what to do. Just give it too me.”
“Give what? What are you looking for?”
“GIVE IT TOO ME!” Her voice almost a growl.
“Tell me what it is you want, and I’ll help you find it.” He edged around the side of the couch, making sure that he had an escape route if she decided to come at him.
“It. I need IT! How many times do I have to tell you. It’s like you don’t even listen to me.” She mumbled as she slammed the pens down, turned back to the cabinets and started rummaging through them again. He wasn’t sure, but he could have sworn her eyes started turning red as she turned away from him.
“I want to help. I just…” He quietly took a step back toward the table, “I just don’t know how too.” Another two steps and he would be at his Go-Bag. She slammed another cabinet shut and reached for the knife drawer, pulling it out with a bang. As her hands rummaged through the serrated and straight-edged blades, he reached behind him and grabbed his bag.
She let out a howl as one of the blades nicked her palm. She grabbed the offending knife and held it up, spinning on her heels toward him and holding it out toward him. “You’re hiding it. I know you are.” She started toward him as he fumbled to open the bag and reached inside.
“I’m sorry…I’m sorry…” He started to cry. Grabbing ahold of what he was looking for, he pulled it out of his bag. She stopped in her tracks, the knife less than a foot away from him. Her demeanor changed, where there was rage and anger, now there was a submissiveness that he was unused to seeing. She lowered the knife and let it fall to the floor, the point imbedding into the dark wooden floor.
“I’m so sorry…” he repeated. “I didn’t want it to be like this.” His hand still outstretched toward her holding a chocolate bar. “You can have it. I was.. I was trying to save it as a surprise for later.”
As she reached out for the bar, she looked at him, love filling her eyes and passion covering her face. “Oh, honey, that is just the sweetest thing ever!”
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She slammed the cutlery drawer, causing the silverware to clamber a riotous racket from the force. “Where is it?” Her voice was shrill as she opened a cabinet door and sent the dishes rattling as she closed it again.
“Honey, I have no idea what you are looking for.” Her husband, Bill, tried his best to calm her without getting too close. Years ago, he learned to never get between a neurotic woman and her mental breakdown.
“I know it’s here somewhere.” She flung open the cutlery utility drawer and started to scour through the pens and thing-a-ma-bobs that they stored in there. She stopped, holding six pens in her clutches, and slowly turned toward him. “I know you hid it.”
Bill put both his hands up, partly to show he wasn’t a threat, and partly to parry away any object that might come in his direction. “Honey,” he pleaded, “I don’t know what you’re looking for.” He repeated slowly.
“You’re hiding it from me, aren’t you.” Her tone got sinister as she took a tentative step toward him. He backed up two full steps out of the kitchen, his foot hitting the couch and causing it to move.
“Honey. Now, you just need to calm down.”
“Don’t tell me what to do. Just give it too me.”
“Give what? What are you looking for?”
“GIVE IT TOO ME!” Her voice almost a growl.
“Tell me what it is you want, and I’ll help you find it.” He edged around the side of the couch, making sure that he had an escape route if she decided to come at him.
“It. I need IT! How many times do I have to tell you. It’s like you don’t even listen to me.” She mumbled as she slammed the pens down, turned back to the cabinets and started rummaging through them again. He wasn’t sure, but he could have sworn her eyes started turning red as she turned away from him.
“I want to help. I just…” He quietly took a step back toward the table, “I just don’t know how too.” Another two steps and he would be at his Go-Bag. She slammed another cabinet shut and reached for the knife drawer, pulling it out with a bang. As her hands rummaged through the serrated and straight-edged blades, he reached behind him and grabbed his bag.
She let out a howl as one of the blades nicked her palm. She grabbed the offending knife and held it up, spinning on her heels toward him and holding it out toward him. “You’re hiding it. I know you are.” She started toward him as he fumbled to open the bag and reached inside.
“I’m sorry…I’m sorry…” He started to cry. Grabbing ahold of what he was looking for, he pulled it out of his bag. She stopped in her tracks, the knife less than a foot away from him. Her demeanor changed, where there was rage and anger, now there was a submissiveness that he was unused to seeing. She lowered the knife and let it fall to the floor, the point imbedding into the dark wooden floor.
“I’m so sorry…” he repeated. “I didn’t want it to be like this.” His hand still outstretched toward her holding a chocolate bar. “You can have it. I was.. I was trying to save it as a surprise for later.”
As she reached out for the bar, she looked at him, love filling her eyes and passion covering her face. “Oh, honey, that is just the sweetest thing ever!”
The mirror never lies. The mirror never tells the truth. All the mirror can do is reflect. Nothing more. Nothing less. Thus, Jim found himself staring into the mirror frame every morning. And every morning the young man in an olive-green army uniform would stare back, a picture framed from the past.
The mirror never lies. The mirror never tells the truth. All the mirror can do is reflect. Nothing more. Nothing less. Thus, Jim found himself staring into the mirror frame every morning. And every morning the young man in an olive-green army uniform would stare back, a picture framed from the past.
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Rock of green with a mossy sheen,
Has stood guard for centuries seen,
With a dour face in perpetual brace,
The Frog Rock of Eastwood place.
*****************
Rock of green with a mossy sheen,
Has stood guard for centuries seen,
With a dour face in perpetual brace,
The Frog Rock of Eastwood place.
*****************
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“Are you sure it’s safe?” Mary asked, hesitancy filling her voice.
“It’s got to be safe. Don’t you think?” John said, not totally sure himself.
“Well, people do go up in that thing all the time, right?” She looked up at the flat saucer that was coming back into view as it descended on the tether.
“Of course they do. And no one has died riding in it, have they?” He scratched his head, trying to remember all the stories he had heard about the space elevator.
“Everyone says the dinner they serve is the best you can get, and, well, no one would lie about that, would they?” Mary asked.
“That’s exactly what I hear too!” John added as their excitement replaced their trepidation. “And I have never seen a single complaint about the food, have you?”
She looked down at the brochure in her hand, skimming the colorful photos and the words that popped out at her.
“Amazing!”
“Thrilling!”
“Once in a lifetime!”.
“Well, according to this, everything anyone says is all positive. See here, it even says, “Never a single complaint lodged.”” She said as she pointed out to a yellow highlighted portion in the lower right hand portion. “They couldn’t print it if it weren’t true, could they?”
“I think there is a law about that. Like false advertisement or something.” He nodded at her. “So, do you want to do this?”
“Only if you go with me. Wouldn’t be much of a dinner with a friend to come along, would it?”
He squinted his eyes and thought about that for a moment, then scratching his beard he said, “I guess it wouldn’t.” Then a grin came across his face, “How about we take a selfie right now, and send it to all our friends. Let them see what fun we got ourselves into!” Her face lit up equally as well.
“That’s a great idea. Then maybe they will want to come out and join us. Wouldn’t that be something?” She dug in her pocket for her cell phone and pulled it out. They stood next to each other with their goofy grins, their knitted caps and scarves, and their big thick jackets as she held the camera out at arm’s length, capturing the moment. She showed him the photo, and he nodded his assent as she made a group text and sent it to all their friends with the message, “Wish you were here for dinner in the stars!” attached to it. Then they turned and headed toward the ticket booth.
“Two tickets, please.” She said to the Andorean standing behind the glass whose name tag read ‘C’Xngr’. “Dinner in the stars!” She squealed excitedly as she pointed to the brochure. C’Xngr bent his face in a mimicking of what he believed humans called smiling, however, due to the nature of his blue skin and his mouth being above his eyes, it came across less than appealing.
“Doo dickeds do dinner in da dars.” C’Xngr clicked as he handed them two 4 inch long golden-colored slips of metal. As John and Mary took the tickets, they held them close to themselves and grinned as they shook with glee.
“Dinner in the stars!” Mary said, holding her ticket aloft.
“Dinner in the stars!” John repeated as he did the same.
Then, John too Mary’s hand and they turned and walked up the boarding ramp. “This is going to be the adventure of a life time!” Mary said to John as the doors to the newly arrived gondola opened and they walked in. “I haven’t seen anyone come out of one of these in the last 4 hours, the food must be really good, don’t you think?”
“It has got to be the best in the universe!” John agreed as they looked at each other and held hands, waving back toward C’Xngr excitedly.
As the doors closed, C’Xngr turned to his friend Bl’Jrg, and spoke in their native language.
“Fl’rav hecv’ dsscu’wac nwrd hgrr’d” Which roughly translated into human meant, “I never have understood why these humans are always so excited to be dinner.”
They both turned and waved their 4-fingered webbed hands to the ascending saucer as they mimicked the smile again.
“Are you sure it’s safe?” Mary asked, hesitancy filling her voice.
“It’s got to be safe. Don’t you think?” John said, not totally sure himself.
“Well, people do go up in that thing all the time, right?” She looked up at the flat saucer that was coming back into view as it descended on the tether.
“Of course they do. And no one has died riding in it, have they?” He scratched his head, trying to remember all the stories he had heard about the space elevator.
“Everyone says the dinner they serve is the best you can get, and, well, no one would lie about that, would they?” Mary asked.
“That’s exactly what I hear too!” John added as their excitement replaced their trepidation. “And I have never seen a single complaint about the food, have you?”
She looked down at the brochure in her hand, skimming the colorful photos and the words that popped out at her.
“Amazing!”
“Thrilling!”
“Once in a lifetime!”.
“Well, according to this, everything anyone says is all positive. See here, it even says, “Never a single complaint lodged.”” She said as she pointed out to a yellow highlighted portion in the lower right hand portion. “They couldn’t print it if it weren’t true, could they?”
“I think there is a law about that. Like false advertisement or something.” He nodded at her. “So, do you want to do this?”
“Only if you go with me. Wouldn’t be much of a dinner with a friend to come along, would it?”
He squinted his eyes and thought about that for a moment, then scratching his beard he said, “I guess it wouldn’t.” Then a grin came across his face, “How about we take a selfie right now, and send it to all our friends. Let them see what fun we got ourselves into!” Her face lit up equally as well.
“That’s a great idea. Then maybe they will want to come out and join us. Wouldn’t that be something?” She dug in her pocket for her cell phone and pulled it out. They stood next to each other with their goofy grins, their knitted caps and scarves, and their big thick jackets as she held the camera out at arm’s length, capturing the moment. She showed him the photo, and he nodded his assent as she made a group text and sent it to all their friends with the message, “Wish you were here for dinner in the stars!” attached to it. Then they turned and headed toward the ticket booth.
“Two tickets, please.” She said to the Andorean standing behind the glass whose name tag read ‘C’Xngr’. “Dinner in the stars!” She squealed excitedly as she pointed to the brochure. C’Xngr bent his face in a mimicking of what he believed humans called smiling, however, due to the nature of his blue skin and his mouth being above his eyes, it came across less than appealing.
“Doo dickeds do dinner in da dars.” C’Xngr clicked as he handed them two 4 inch long golden-colored slips of metal. As John and Mary took the tickets, they held them close to themselves and grinned as they shook with glee.
“Dinner in the stars!” Mary said, holding her ticket aloft.
“Dinner in the stars!” John repeated as he did the same.
Then, John too Mary’s hand and they turned and walked up the boarding ramp. “This is going to be the adventure of a life time!” Mary said to John as the doors to the newly arrived gondola opened and they walked in. “I haven’t seen anyone come out of one of these in the last 4 hours, the food must be really good, don’t you think?”
“It has got to be the best in the universe!” John agreed as they looked at each other and held hands, waving back toward C’Xngr excitedly.
As the doors closed, C’Xngr turned to his friend Bl’Jrg, and spoke in their native language.
“Fl’rav hecv’ dsscu’wac nwrd hgrr’d” Which roughly translated into human meant, “I never have understood why these humans are always so excited to be dinner.”
They both turned and waved their 4-fingered webbed hands to the ascending saucer as they mimicked the smile again.
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“Seriously. Who puts a sign up in the middle of the ocean?” The captain said with a dour look on his face.
“Better question, who hits a sign in the middle of the ocean,” mumbled the first mate.
“What was that?”
“Nothing, sir. Was just agreeing with your remark.”
“I thought so.” The captain turned back toward the large metal pole that was now stuck three feet into the bow of his boat. “So, what are we going to do about this?”
“Well, we could…” the first mate started.
“How about we try to back the boat up?” The captain interrupted.
“I don’t think…”
“That’s a great idea!” The captain beamed from ear to ear at his great idea. “Make it so, Number 1!”
Sighing, both from the command and the pop culture reference, the first mate walked to the wheelhouse and took the helm. “Ready when you are, sir.” His tone more degrading as he finished the sentence.
The captain enthusiastically flailed his arms in the ‘hurry up’ motion, wanting to see the culmination of his great idea.
“Sir, I would hold onto something, this might cause a sudden…”
“I’m fine. Just give her full power astern!”
“… jerk.” He finished his sentence, partly because he hated being cut off, partly as a clever innuendo. “Aye, aye, mon Capitaine.” He feigned a salute, then took the throttle in hand and pulled it all the way back.
The ship started shuttering as the prop wash piled high up on the fantail. The first mate held the wheel as center as he could as the engines whined loudly, pulling back against the pole embedded in the foc’sle. A horrible snapping and crunching noise emitted from the bow as the ship lurched backwards as it pulled free. The first mate looked up just in time to see the feet of the captain fly over the forward railing, followed by a loud splash and screech.
“MAN OVERBOARD!!!” The captain’s voice called out from the ocean. “MAN OVERBOARD!!!” It came again as the first mate brought the engines to an all stop as a smirk grew across his lips as he shook his head.
“Idiot.”
