Count Your Blessings, Day 4

Mike & Kelly Olive

Mike&Kelly (circa 2000-ish)

Ok, there is a real good possibility that I am going to get in trouble for this post. Mainly cause, well, this is an older photo of the two of them, and they might try to hunt me down for sharing it (again).

But, when I look back on my life and I see the 16 year old me, I see a kid that was lost, lonely, angry, bitter, on the verge of suicide, and so walled in by my own defenses that it took God sending these two people into my life to finally get through to me. I'm 43 now, married to a beautiful woman(Day 1), I have two kids of my own (see Day 3 for more on them) and I work in youth ministry, reaching out to kids that are more like me then I even care to admit. I truly believe, none of that would have happened if not for one weekend when I was invited to play volleyball at a youth group, and upon walking in, Mike stepped up, introduced himself, and just made me feel like I was the most important kid in the room. I'll never forget that night.

See, unbeknownst to Mike, he started something by reaching out to me that would become my mission and ministry in life. Over the next few months, Mike and Kelly took time out of their lives and just ministered to me how much God loved me and in that time I found a place that I belonged, I found a purpose in my life, I found hope. Most importantly, I found out who I am in Christ.

All because two people cared enough to invest in a 16 year old kid who could never repay them. 

Mike and Kelly... Olive you guys more then you could ever know. Thank you for allowing God to use you to change the life, future and eternity of one lost kid.

Mike&Kelly (circa 2014)

Count Your Blessings, Day 3

My children.

Todd, Taylor, & Ben

From time to time (ok, a lot of the time), I take it for granted that I happen to be the dad of two pretty awesome kids. Yes, they have their issues, but considering who their dad is, they didn't turn out all that bad.

Both are incredibly gifted musicians, playing several instruments each, but the saxophone is the one they have in common. Ben can sing, and I hear my daughter can also (although, I am thinking this is more like the Unicorn or Leprechaun, as I have yet to see truth behind these rumors.) They both have a heart to serve God, and from what I can tell, doing their best to be the best that they can be.

Even though they have had their struggles, I am very proud of the young man and woman they have grown into, and looking forward to the future when they step into the new roles, my son as a dad (he got married in 2013 to a pretty great young lady) and my daughter as a wife and then a mother. Yeah, that'll make me a grandfather, but, seriously, how lucky are those kids going to be? Right?

Anywho..

 Life in general is not easy, but these two.. Ben and Taylor.. they have taken the challenge, stepped up to the plate and have given it a good try. Success or failure do not define a person, only how you deal with either outcome.

So, to my son Ben, and to my daughter Taylor, I have loved watching you grow up, and I have enjoyed being a part of your life, but you are more of a blessing to me then I ever think I could be to you. You make me proud.

Count Your Blessings, Day 2

Clouds.

Yep, clouds.

I know, sounds like a weird thing to be thankful for, but, sometimes, when the world just get's too noisy, I find myself getting lost in the clouds.

And honestly, we have some great clouds here where I live. From the puffy light grey ones that just stroll across the sky, to the broken up white ones that ride high in the upper atmosphere, breaking up the expansive blue.

However, my favorite clouds of all? Storm clouds. Those ominously dark, large clouds that just swallow up the entirety of the horizon with the looming threat of causing a downpour of biblical proportions. The way the lightning plays across them, rolling from one side to the other, like an electric ballet with music unheard. As a kid, I would sit in the window and just watch the storm clouds, and get lost in thought and wonder, and like I said before, that's something I still find myself doing.

So, today, I count clouds as a blessing.

Yep.

Clouds.

Count Your Blessings, Day 1.

Life is full of things that we can look at as negatives. Every time you turn your head, something is trying to bring you down, someone is trying to make their problem your problem, or we just get so wrapped up in the thoughts in our own heads we make mountains out of mole hills. As of late, these have been the things that I have been focusing on, so, today, I'm changing all that, or at least, going to give everything I can to change that. Today I want to start focusing on the blessings in my life, and what better way then to start with the largest blessing I have ever received

.

My wife has been someone that has stood by me for 23 years. Not only by me, but with me. She has seen my darkest of days and my crowning achievements. She has been my biggest critic (next to myself, of course) and my largest fan. She challenges me to be a better man and won't take my trite answers as ok. She doesn't except the mediocre from me, and even though this sometimes evolves into a fight, she is willing to fight with me, knowing that in the fight she might get hurt, but to her, I'm worth it.

I really don't understand why God could bless me with such an amazing woman, or what I have ever done for her that would make her put up with me for this long. But because of her, I am a truly blessed man, even if I forget that a lot of the time.

I can't think of anyone else I would want in my foxhole with me.

Thank you Heather, for being you.




He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Prov 18:22

Starting a new thing.. again.

It's been about 3 years since I last posted anything to this blog. I doubt I had any readers before, and I don't think I will have any after I am done. However, in the last three years, a lot has happened, and in the last year, most of that has collided to create a catastrohpic episode of self implosion. I have become obsessed, to the point of total fixation, on my mortality. As a Christian, you would think, knowing who I am in Christ and what eternity really has in store for me, that this would not be such a huge issue. Yet, no matter how hard I have tried to get my eyes off of it, every time I turn around, there it is. Death has become a pre-occupation, and it has turned the simplest of pains into the most dreaded outcome possible. Anxiety has grasped me, and I don't know how to shake it free. To that end, I had a thought, that to combat the worry, anxiety, and fixation of the negative that I seem to have spiraled into, I would take the next 30 days, every day, and write about something I am thankful for, or in other words, counting my blessings. So, here I am, a Christian of over 25 years, struggling with things you wouldn't think I should, being honest and real, and using my blog to journal the process of trying to overcome this place in my life. If nothing else, this should be an interesting experiment.