He thought he found the perfect hiding spot. Thought, for once, that he was going to finally beat the dog at their daily game of hide-n-seek. Thought for sure, he would never look behind the curtain. So, he nestled in, laying as quiet as he could behind the curtain and waited.
For the first ten seconds, he smiled to himself, smug and cheerful, knowing he was going to win the game. At about the twenty-second mark, his ears started twitching as the curtain material played with his fur in a most uncomfortable manner. Four-five seconds in, he got tired of sitting upright and decided to sit down, sighing heavily at the stupidity of the mangy mutt that was his best friend.
A minute and a half past and the dog was no where in sight but boredom was quickly approaching like a train barreling down the track toward that penny you laid there while you hide in the bushes and wait for it to smoosh it flat. Just like that, but, the opposite feeling.
Two full minutes in and the cat was convinced that when God created dog, he must have taken the design of the cat and flipped it. Where the cat had a tiny stomach, able to keep their lithe like figure that allowed them the agileness of a mosquito on crack, the dog had a huge stomach which allowed the dog to be capable of eating anything it wanted, and as often as it liked. The cat shook his head in disgust at the thought of how the dog would gobble up the food that was laid before him, or scrounge the floor for anything that even remotely didn’t look like floor, only to lick it up seconds later.
Which brought the cat to the other portion of his thought. The dog must have a tiny brain, because, who would eat the things he ate? Where as, he was gifted with an enormous brain, obviously. For the next minute he drifted off into the thought of how a creature with such a tiny brain could ever exist, it just didn’t seem plausible, nor functional. He shook his head, clearing it of all the dog thoughts.
At minute four, he yawned, signaling that boredom had indeed set in fully. He grew bored, he grew tired, he grew impatient. So he peeked out from behind the curtain and looked around the room for any signs of the lumbering oaf. He lowered his head to the top of his paws, hunching down on all fours, and decided it was time to abandon his perfect hiding spot and see what was taking the dog so long. Obviously, it was a perfect hiding spot, as after only four minutes, the dog still couldn’t find him, and it was unfair that he was gifted with such masterful intelligence whereas the dog was only operating with whatever size brain allowed him to succumb to the simple commands of the humans. “Sit, stay, beg. Pathetic.” thought the cat as he rounded to corner to the kitchen.
And there, lying on the linoleum floor, sprawled out on all four was the floppy eared brute. His big sad eyes were closed as he snorted in his slumber. The cat padded lightly across the floor toward him, than lowering his head, nudged the dog. Blearily, the dog opened it’s eyes and looked at the cat.
“We are supposed to be playing hide and seek, stupid.” The cat said with his eyes.
“Huh?” The dog responded with a lazy blink.
“Why aren’t you trying to find me, you galoot? ” The cat responded.
“I started counting. I got to five. I guess I took a nap.” The dog said as he picked his head up from the floor.
The cat shook his head again. “Only you.”
“You’re it!” howled the dog after a long wet tongue licked the black fur on the cat in the wrong direction.
“What? No! I….” But the dog never heard his protest as he was already up on all four of his short legs, his nails clicking on the floor as his belly dragged under him. “That’s cheating!” He meowed.
As the dog scurried out of the kitchen and out of sight, the cat resigned himself to being ‘it’ as he belabor red one final complaint. “Stupid dog doesn’t even know how to play the game right.”
Filed under: Flash Fiction
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